My
books and churches taught me this:
The
key to evangelism is to make lots of non-Christian friends, spend
time with them, earn your right to speak and invite them along to
church activities, from barbecues to guest services, from Alpha
courses to baptisms.
I
had problems with this.
1.
I'm an introvert!!! I only make a few friends.
2. I'm really
busy!!! If I build friendships, I neglect my work, family etc.
3. I
want to share the gospel with people. It had a powerful effect on my
life. But nobody's shown me how! When I open my mouth, it sounds weak
and pathetic or too condemning or 'heavy'.
4. Making friends so that I could share
the gospel later feels ‘creepy’ to me. I'm not really being
buddies because I want to be with them. I'm just softening 'em up so
that after a few hours/weeks/months I can invite them to church! It’s
a bit like dating a girl and waiting till you’ve really got them
hooked before you tell them you have a criminal record or are tens of
thousands in debt or have some shameful habit!!!
Do
we see any really solid models of ‘friendship evangelism’ in
scripture? There are two passages that are commonly quoted by
advocates of friendship evangelism.
Though
I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to
win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the
Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though
I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To
those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though
I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win
those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak.
I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I
might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may
share in its blessings.
1 Corinthians 9:19-23
If
this is Paul’s manifesto for friendship evangelism, a quick look at
what he says just beforehand presents a challenge:
Yet
when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to
preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!
2Corinthians 9:16
So...
Paul’s first priority is to preach the Gospel. He is not spending
hours, weeks or months priming people up to ‘earn the right’ to
say something.
Secondly,
this passage gets used:
We
loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only
the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so
dear to us.
1Thessalonians 2:8
Interesting
that Paul again mentions sharing the gospel before he talks about
sharing his life. But again, a look at the context is very
significant. Look at Paul says just before this.
We
had previously suffered and been insulted in Philippi, as you know,
but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in spite
of strong opposition. For the appeal we make does not spring from
error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the
contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the
gospel. We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our
hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a mask to
cover up greed—God is our witness. We were not looking for praise
from men, not from you or anyone else.
1Thessalonians 2:2-6
1Thessalonians 2:2-6
‘Nor
are we trying to trick you’!!!! I told you I found ‘friendship
evangelism’ creepy! I think Paul would have too.
On
occasion, the Bible actually tells us not
to make friends with certain people:
Do
not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and
wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with
darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does
a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there
between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the
living God.
2Corinthians 6:14-16
Blessed
is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or
stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
Psalm 1:1
Psalm 1:1
He
who walks with the wise grows wise,
but a companion of fools
suffers harm.
Proverbs 13:20
Proverbs 13:20
Do
we just not bother with these people? Or do we go with them to pub
crawls and nightclubs and trust that we won’t be drawn in to sin?
I’m
going to say something that some people won’t like.
In the Bible,
there was no such thing as ‘friendship evangelism’ as it is
defined today.
The early Christians used what I will call
proclamation
evangelism.
And that is what we are commanded to use!
The
Lord's message rang
out from
you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become
known everywhere.
1Thessalonians 1:8
How
effective is proclamation evangelism compared with friendship
evangelism?
I
have no scientific studies, but I would like to quote from a UK
evangelist called Korky Davey, who is a big believer in
‘proclamation’ in the streets, in parks and in schools. I
recommend his free e-book 'Biblical Patterns of Evangelism'...
Experience
in Spain and Portugal shows that it takes about 15-20 years to
establish a fellowship of about 25 people when personal evangelism is
the only method employed. Bill Wooten, a missionary in Portugal, told
me that his reliance on personal evangelism had meant that building a
relationship with a Portuguese family to the point where he could
share the Gospel with them took about a year. Most of those he got to
know ultimately proved not to be interested in the Gospel. The
Operation Mobilisation strategy for Italy was for each of their
families to evangelise one Italian family each year. On that basis it
would take thousands of years to reach the population - yet for some
extraordinary reason many of those involved in missions regard
friendship evangelism as the only responsible and effective way to do
the job. Many of them seem to be hung up on the idea that one needs
to earn the right to speak. Fortunately the Apostles did not suffer
from these sort of hang-ups and regarded the preaching of the Gospel
as their prime function in every town.
He
says the following about ‘proclamation’ evangelism...
Around
about 800 people passed through our training programme over the last
thirty years with the result that we have experience first hand in
about 17 countries. In Albania, a very unlikely couple have over the
last 15 years established 36 new fellowships across the south of the
country with 9,000 converts - mainly through mobilising and training
local evangelists. The potential is enormous, pretty well everywhere.
Various other teams have successfully got similar ministry patterns
going on the streets in Europe.
Vienna, Austria - Better than an Alpha Supper!
Aluche, Spain - Better than a Guest Service!
Conclusion.
Don’t spend countless hours ‘befriending’ before you say
anything. Learn how to proclaim the gospel early. Real friends are
'upfront' with people!!! Be 'upfront' with the Gospel. Like Jesus,
the apostles and the most effective Christians throughout the ages.
